“Did You Hear About the Morgans?” starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant was a movie I recently watched from HBO. Basically it’s about a couple who in just a few more misunderstandings will officially file a divorce but in a certain witness protection program they’ve been into, they got back together in the end.
No Strings Attached, a Summit Media book, was a book I’ve recently read. Unlike the previously said movie, this book is about two people wanting to be in a complicated relationship (most would call it MOMOL – Make Out, Make Out Lang) with no real commitment attached. In the end, they both decide to finally be exclusive and be in a real and committed relationship.
These two stories both taught me about the great and incomparable value of COMMUNICATION.
No, I’m not just talking about the romantic relationship but ALL kinds of relationships. You see, no connection with another person has ever grown without you talking to them. May nakita ka na bang nagpakasal na nagtitigan lang? O kaya naging magkaibigan na nasulyapan lang nung isa yung isa pa? I mean, pardon me, but even deaf people communicate in their own simple ways. Verbally or non-verbally we do communicate and through these conversations do we tend to create a bond with other people (or even animals and etc).
Communication is “conveying information.” It means that you are giving out particular things about you to someone else’s knowledge. It’s sharing part of you to become part of another person. It surpasses limits like distance, where we can now send e-mails, text messages or make NDD and IDD calls, and other limits like human disabilities – deaf and mute people communicate through sign languages and the blind through brails. And as I realize right now, there are endless things communication can do for a person and another.
When Meryl Morgan (played by Parker) finally admitted to his husband Paul (Grant) that she also slept with someone else during the times they weren’t together, it was Paul’s initial reaction to conceal his thoughts. Yet Meryl exclaims, “If you’re angry, just… be angry. But please, don’t stop talking to me.”
Similar lines were thrown by Carla to Dante, characters of No Strings Attached. When Carla tried pursuing Dante after he got upset of a “not-a-date” of her and some guy, she tries telling him to not stop talking to him or at least hear her side of the story.
Of course, women are quite expected to be very vocal of their thoughts and feelings but the point being here is that what hurts more than hurtful words said are words left unsaid. This is probably one of the contexts behind the cliché, “If you love someone, show them and don’t just tell them; but if you don’t love him, tell them and don’t just show them.” *Or maybe it’s just me analyzing. Oh well.* Absence of communication can hurt both sexes in any kind of relationship.
I remember when my Mom and I got into a fight and we stopped talking for about less than a week. It was very painful in my part (and I bet in hers, too) because there are things and feelings I kept but couldn’t tell her because we’re angry at each other. Or when my sister and I rarely spoke with our father for about more than a year, it scarred me deeply of how much I miss him and the likes. And so I realized that not talking is never a solution to a problem. It’s about the opposite.
Communication is beyond growing relationships. It’s an equipment for a better understanding of yourself and of the people you relate to. In fact, it’s also one great tool for connection restorations.
I’ve always believed that my perceptions of people can change once I finally get to know them or get to know them better; that I may probably don’t like them at the moment because I don’t know them yet or that much. And the best way to know them is not through facebook posts or profiles and etc. but through communication. See? It ain’t just for growing but making new relationships!
So do not underestimate an effort of trying to communicate with somebody. However simple or complex your words are, it’s better to tell them than keeping them in secret. Of course we all have to consider timing for certain situations but the point is that we shouldn’t lose precious communication with the people we love, or simply, with people.
My prayer is that you may always be given wisdom to speak right things at the right time – knowledge only our God can give. God bless!